First off, yes, I know, I haven’t posted much recently. Or rather at all. Life has become quite hectic over the last few months, and it shows no signs of letting up. I’ve turned to Tumblr to microblog. Most of it is image caps or animations of highlights in the games and anime I consume, but I’m sure I’ll write a few short posts as well. You’re welcome to follow me if you want. I may still make intermittent, longer posts here, but like most things in my life right now, that ability can change on a weekly basis. ^_^;
With that out of the way, please read 2DT’s very interesting analysis on Okabe’s actions in episode 19. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Now, this post originally started as a response to Morgoth’s comment. However, it got really long and I figured it deserved a post of its own. The subject: Should we root for Okabe?
I don’t think we’re supposed to root for Okabe, per se. We’re supposed to identify with him. We all understand what it’s like to lose someone close to us in death. Just the thought of it scared Okabe so much that he adopted a brand new persona because he thought Mayuri would disappear otherwise. And now she’s dead, or rather, she will die, over and over again.
In the real world, we can get closure. Once you die you are dead. There’s no coming back. We struggle with the pain and the grief for a while, but eventually we move on with our lives. Well, most of us do anyway.
Okabe doesn’t have that luxury, because he has the power of time travel at his disposal. He has the ability to change the outcome, if only he can figure out how to do it. You know, we romanticize time travel a lot. See the past! Change things you regret! But we don’t think about the consequences of those actions.
Okabe has suffered a lot of pain over the second half of the series. He’s watched his best friend die hundreds of times. He’s to the point that it doesn’t even phase him when Kurisu calls him to tell him Mayuri has died. He’s been forced to seek out the consent of his friends to take away the happiness he gave them. And now he has to face down Moeka, the original cause of all this in his mind. It’s a wonder that he didn’t react with more anger and violence.
Yet, he’s still a human being. When he flashes back to the time Moeka spent with the lab, he realizes something very important. Something that deflates his antagonistic attitude. She wanted attention. She wanted friends. At one time, Okabe considered her a friend. He calls her a fool for believing no one wanted her. At the same time, he realizes he was a fool for pushing her away. If only he had paid attention to her. If only he figured out why she pestered him all the time. If only he learned why she was so awkward. If only. If only. Maybe this could have been prevented. But this, too, he can prevent, if only he can figure out how.
We can try to sit on some moral high horse and judge Okabe for his actions. You shouldn’t have taken her phone, Okabe. You shouldn’t have hit her, Okabe. You shouldn’t have yelled at her, Okabe. Yet, can you honestly say you’d react differently if you were in the same situation? Honestly? Honestly. I have a tough time saying I would.
That is why we like Okabe. We understand what he’s going through, and on some level we know we’d react the same way he would. He might just be a character in some anime series. Yet, he is undeniably human.
Time travel. It’s enough to drive you mad.
What I find rather shocking about the entire ordeal is how Okabe has reached the point where he approaches Mayuri’s death in a methodical manner. He stuck around simply to confirm Mayuri’s time of death, which feels like a level of detachment on a completely different level than usual.
It’s almost as if he’s no longer trying to save Mayuri simply to save her, but merely to fufill the goal set out before him (almost like a game). Considering everything he’s been through, I can understand why he acts this way to some extent, but it’s still kind of scary to ponder over.
I guess this desensitizing phase that Okabe has gone through is really showing up here in his confrontation with Moeka. To be completely honest, I was cheering for Okabe this episode. While some argue that she’s a poor soul that needs help, at the same time she did cross that line that she just shouldn’t have crossed.
Seeking out friendship and happiness (which is perfectly fine), and being a mindslave that’s willing to kill somebody, are completely different things. Moeka obviously fits into the latter. Then again, I’m probably underestimating the complexities of the human mind, and all of this goes much deeper than I’m currently thinking of.
In other news, this has just hyped me up for the new ep of Steins;gate that airs tomorrow :3
Okabe’s reached a level where he’s not afraid of toying with those around him to achieve his goals. Of course, most of this can be attributed to him being aware of how everything can be reverted back to a certain point. He’s just concerned with his own life, so he can retry as many times as it takes. This also seeped into his treatment of Moeka, unfortunately. So while I’m still rooting for him, he is slowly losing his mind.